ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Randomize
