I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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