Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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