guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
