NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
