when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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