5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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