you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
a search helicopter?!
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
