Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
