I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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