Moan for me like Helen Keller
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
