So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
