it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
