The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
