I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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