she was so not down for the gang bang
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
