I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
When are your genitals available?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
