Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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