oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
should my penis look like a turkey
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
