the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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