I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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