i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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