Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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