You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
