It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
