Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
