Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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