didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Randomize
