Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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