It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
