she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
