He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
