is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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