Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
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