If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
