Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
