is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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