thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
