Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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