Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
