I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If I die, sorry about rent.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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