I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
