Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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