I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Also, beer. Big fan.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
