"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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