This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
