I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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