you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
