I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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