I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
