Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
It's rum buckets o'clock
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
