my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
