He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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