Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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