I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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