oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
