can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
