Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
