her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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