are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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