I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
