thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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