I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It's Friday. Sex?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
