come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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